5 Top Holiday Gifts To Give The Ones You Love AKA Neurofeedback NoelAlex Theoret
I must have been an etymologist in a past life. I actually perk up when my search engine finds: “the history and origins of words”. I’m particularly fascinated with how words change and evolve over time. And since we’re well into the holiday season, I absolutely must deconstruct a particular word’s progression. Remember when “gifted” used to refer to someone with a talent or exceptional cognitive ability? Now it appears that word has experienced “mission creep” into the land of verbs.
Much like “friended” has mutated on Facebook, “gifted” has morphed into a kind of holiday slur. “Re-gifted” connotes extreme laziness and thoughtlessness. In this sad scenario, present perpetrators pawn off something they never wanted in the first place to someone they don’t care about. Sort of like having a “sale” on your unsold inventory of Swedish wool blankets in Miami. In July.
Oh, the generosity.
But before it became fashionable, I learned what it truly meant to be “gifted”. Christmas Day in my house growing up would make you scream. There were so many presents, we were still opening our trove at 3PM (after being awake since daybreak). Our stomachs grumbled; our fingers bled from tearing off all those meticulously tied bows; our animals collapsing from hunger and neglect. Yes, I exaggerate, but only to point out that the real source of this “gift-gorging” was guilt. In fact, we came to calling this particular day in our house “Guiltmas”.
The thought was this: maybe the suffocating cornucopia of swag would somehow compensate for everyone’s lousy behavior towards one another over the course of the previous year. As if new socks and sticker books would magically override stressful memories of selfish insensitivity and outrageously bad behavior over the course of the previous 12 months. In other words, we were being “gifted”. Take it and shut up!
This Christmas, now that I have my own family, I am determined to do things differently. First, I will sincerely apologize for my selfish insensitivity and outrageously bad behavior. Then I’ll give everyone a nice, extra-long neurofeedback session. While neurofeedback doesn’t wipe your memory like some futuristic device out of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”, brain training can help massage out that sense of resentment you have been holding onto for the last eleven months. And it does help curb the stress I might have caused you over the course of the year. (Although when I do consistent neurofeedback training, I am less prone to aforementioned irritating behavior.)
Forget the pajamagrams and spiked eggnog, when you give the gift of neurofeedback, you’re giving real, lasting wellness. That’s good for everyone and is the polar opposite of being “gifted”.
Here are my top 5 benefits of giving the gift of neurofeedback to yourself & your loved ones this holiday season:
1) Reduced stress. Neurofeedback is totally naturopathic and has actually been FDA-approved for reducing stress. But, as my wife will attest, I have not.
2) Improved Focus. I’m talking about the ability to laser all your attention on the important strategies like, “What excuse can I come up with the dodge ex-employers and in-laws during the holidays?”
3) A good night’s sleep. We however suggest taking advantage of this benefit AFTER you’ve put all the kids’ presents together on Christmas Eve (or after you’ve lit the menorah). You don’t want Santa’s Workshop to be asleep on the job.
4) Cravings be gone. Now this is a BIG deal during the holidays. You get into the groove of eating and drinking too much and then have to deal added pound-age in the New Year. Run some sessions and you will most likely skip this viscous cycle altogether. Just don’t skip the OTHER cycle (the one with the pedals).
5) You no longer have “All Hell Breaks Loose” in your household and instead get “Heaven on Earth” during the holidays. What better gift can you ask for?
So don’t “gift” and be “gifted” this holiday season. Give the gift that keeps giving and giving: give NeurOptimal neurofeedback.